Connecting Again

As we go about our lives, it is easy to get sidetracked by our daily routines and increasing responsibilities. If we are not careful, it will slowly break down excitement and joy in our relationships. As a result, we may sense a profound disconnect with our loved ones. Thankfully, there are many ways to get us back on track and reconnect again!  Here are a few of them.

  1. Try to do more things together! Think back to when the relationship started, chances are you both tried to get to know each other by spending time together; This has been the experience of many couples. When you do things together there are more opportunities to communicate, to touch each other, to hug, to kiss, to laugh, to say thank you, to share your likes, dislikes, and fears. Go everywhere together!
  2. Create a vision board! Most of us are familiar with this type of project at a personal level. But how about creating one for the relationship? Together! This is a great activity to do with your partner to foster a sense of unity and direction. As a couple, talk about the things you would like to do together, things you would love to accomplish together, and see if you can find pictures that represent your goals for the relationship, cut them, and pin them to the board and begin to work toward achieving your goals. For example, if you both would like to reconnect again, find a picture of a couple hugging or kissing and place the picture on the board and start hugging each other more and kissing each other more. Make sure to check your board often to not get sidetracked.
  3. Surprise each other! This becomes easier to accomplish as you get to know your partner more, but it works at any stage of the relationship. The element of surprise is one that gives the bond a touch of excitement and love. It does not have to be an extravagant surprise for your partner to feel your connection, something simple will do. For example, take him or her to an unexpected lunch, prepare his or her favorite breakfast, or take on a house shore for the day, or write a nice text or a sensual text. These are just some simple examples. Be creative!
  4. Get out of your comfort zone! Step out of your comfortable routine; This could kill the relationship. I am not saying that a routine is bad for the relationship, after all, it does provide a structure and security. What I propose is to spice it up! Do things together that are different, things that otherwise you would have not thought of doing together, if it is safe. Doing things out of your comfort zone will place you both in a place where you rely on each other, which creates an opportunity to grow and bond. For example, if you both tend to do more indoor activities, try to go hiking, or zip lining, or go on a road trip. Just be safe and have fun!
  5. Use romantic language! Language is not just verbal; it is also nonverbal. The words we use, are just as important as how we say them and what we do because when used in harmony, it conveys a genuine message. Choose positive words when talking to your partner. Pick words that lift them up and makes them feel better about themselves. Watch your tone as you say them, you may even whisper them. For example, tell your partner how wonderful you feel for having him or her in your life and tell them secretly, by whispering it to him or her.

 Maintaining the connection in a relationship or reconnecting again is only possible if we commit to it. It does not happen by itself. It requires attention and care for it to flourish. Enjoy the journey!

This article is meant to be educational; it is not a substitute for professional help. If you and your partner would like to reconnect again, I am here to help. Please call me at 1-888-876-9784 to schedule an appointment or visit

Dr. Penate.